Day 5: I finally opened my heart…

I finally opened my heart…

I have always been someone who had a very open heart to everything and everyone, but there have been times that I have had to take my heart and guard it and it took time to reopen it.

So sorry mom, she is the one who gave me the prompt, I am going to have to switch it up a little.

I finally reopened my heart to family, friends, life, and love.

When my parents divorced my heart became guarded. As a six-year-old, it is hard to comprehend why a parent would just leave. I lost a lot of trust, to the point where I would sleep in my mom’s room just so I knew when she would get up so I knew she wasn’t leaving me too. My mother was actually the one who helped me let my guard down and open my heart for my father, thanks, mom.

I finally opened my heart and gave him the chance he deserved to be a father even if my parents were not living in the same house.

During my 4 year relationship, I closed out a lot of my friends. I only opened my heart for the boy I was with because I felt like if I didn’t cut my friends off I wouldn’t have him. Also, during that time I closed my heart to life. I didn’t enjoy life as much when I was with him, I was unable to see the real beauty that life can bring to you.

After the relationship, I finally opened my heart to my friends. I had to swallow my pride and apologize for how horrible I was being during the relationship and some were able to open their hearts for me and some could not.

I was also finally able to open my heart to life. This may not make sense, but before I felt as though I was living life in black and white and there was always a rain cloud over me. When I finally moved on from that point of my life and opened my heart to what life really was, the rain cleared and the world was more colorful than it was even before the relationship. I felt like there was a weight lifted off of me finally.

Love is a big thing I had to open up to again. After my dad leaving and the boy I was dating having a lot of my fathers traits and never showing me a real love and all the rest of the guys either wanting just sex or not being able to handle me I had to open my heart finally.

I closed out a lot of people who could possibly really love me because I had to close my heart because of the amount of hurt it took during that relationship. I had to one day open my heart again to someone. Thank goodness the man that is in my life right now was able to take time and understand me.

I am now able to say I finally opened my heart to love. He was able to help me do that and I do have him to thank for taking the time to show me what real love is.

I finally opened my heart to things in my life that I once closed out to protect myself and I have realized that life is better when your heart is open.

Prompt from Mom
Word Count: 576

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